{"id":1578,"date":"2016-03-25T02:20:18","date_gmt":"2016-03-25T07:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/calebstrong.org\/?p=1578"},"modified":"2025-12-18T18:39:12","modified_gmt":"2025-12-18T18:39:12","slug":"being-prepared-to-defend-in-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/2016\/03\/25\/being-prepared-to-defend-in-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Being prepared to defend in Love"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I absolutely LOVE my non-believing friends. They are all wonderfully intelligent people that have lively discussions and debates. Sometimes they pose such great statements and questions that I feel compelled to pause and share God’s plan for us. As the Apostle Paul ( I think it was Paul)  wrote:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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But in your hearts set apart Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.<\/em><\/p>\n
1 Peter 3:15-16<\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Here is the exchange we had on FaceBook: (names changed because it doesn’t matter)<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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FRIEND1 POSTED<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Does the Bible really condemn homosexuality?<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

“The short answer is no, it does not. The handful of passages in the Old and New Testaments that talk about God condemning specific sexual acts have nothing whatsoever to do with sexual orientation and everything to do with contexts such as cultic prostitution or gang rape. To put it another way, using the Bible as a handbook on human sexuality makes as much sense in the 21st century as using it as a handbook on astronomy did in the 16th. The church got it wrong when it misused the Bible to condemn Galileo and it gets it wrong when it misuses the Bible to condemn LGBT people.”<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Now, GOD DOES NOT need me to defend Him<\/u> and I was not at all hoping to be God’s lawyer. That was not why I felt the need to respond.  I desired to respond because I DO want to be sure that my friends have the correct information about our Lord and Savior before they make decisions and form opinions that will affect their eternity. Because I love them, I felt compelled to respond:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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GaryC RESPONDS:<\/b>\u00a0\u00a0 That opening statement is not accurate friend.\u00a0<\/em>

You know me, and you know my history. You know I am pro-personal choice AND I am also pro-Biblical accuracy. So I will correct you and say that statement is not correct. I am not making an argument for\u00a0the rest of your post but those particular statements should be corrected as they are just wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Bible does in-fact define hetero-sexual marriage as the theologically accepted form, and it does also condemn homosexual acts in the context of RELATIONSHIPS and not just in the case of violent crime.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you really want to get into Biblical History, Exegesis, and Hermeneutics so that you can speak with accuracy we can talk about that with the same seriousness of any other ancient literature class. But that statement is a misrepresentation.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

No offense intended or taken, just a correction.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

No one should simply take statements at face value. An intelligent person will ask for and check references for information. Without skipping a beat my friends did just that:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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FRIEND1 RESPONDS:<\/b> \u00a0Give me the books and verses that support your statement.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

FRIEND2 RESPONDS:<\/b>\u00a0\u00a0 Wow,\u00a0GaryC<\/b>. That is a pretty ballsy statement to make as definitively as you do. Especially given that there are a number of Biblical Scholars and Rabi whom hold contrary opinions to your statement. Also, you seem to be reading a post I’m not seeing. FRIEND1<\/b>‘s position is that it is the act of homosexuality, not the individual, that is condemned in the Bible. Nowhere is her opening statement do I see a reference to marriage, nor for that matter a love which does not necessarily require those acts.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I offer this in the same spirit with which you offered your correction.<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

We are all called to be peacemakers, so I accepted the correction of FRIEND2, and I attempted to respond in kindness and with sincere desire to be clear in my communications.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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GaryC RESPONDS: <\/b>To be fair, I may not have been very clear.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I did not read ” it is the act of homosexuality, not the individual, that is condemned in the Bible” in FRIEND1<\/b>‘s comment. I do agree with this statement to a point. The caveat is that actions have consequences for individuals.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

My dissension was with the statement “…have nothing whatsoever to do with sexual orientation and everything to do with contexts such as cultic prostitution or gang rape.”<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I said: “The Bible does in-fact define hetero-sexual marriage as the theologically accepted form, and it does also condemn homosexual acts in the context of RELATIONSHIPS and not just in the case of violent crime.”<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

As we are all reasonable, intelligent individuals my friend posts a reasonable response to be sure I didn’t miss it the first time (which to be fair, I did).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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FRIEND1 RESPONDS:<\/b> Where does it define it that way,\u00a0GaryC<\/b>?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

So, with appropriate care and research I responded to the statements above:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

GaryC RESPONDS: <\/strong>Because you asked FRIEND1<\/strong> \u2026<\/em>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Model of marriage Maleand Female:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Now in response to the matters you wrote about: \u201cIt is good for a man not to have relations with a woman.\u201d But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.<\/p>\n 1 Corinthians 7:1-3 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh.
This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.<\/p>\nEphesians 5:31-33 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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They said, \u201cMoses permitted us to write divorce papers and send her away.\u201d
But Jesus told them, \u201cHe wrote this command for you because of the hardness of your hearts. But from the beginning of creation God made them male and female.
For this reason a man will leave
his father and mother (and be joined to his wife),
and the two will become one flesh.
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.\u201d <\/p>\nMark 10:4-9 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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\u201cHaven\u2019t you read,\u201d He replied, \u201cthat He who created them in the beginning made them male and female,\u201d and He also said:
\u201cFor this reason a man will leave
his father and mother
and be joined to his wife,
and the two will become one flesh?
So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, man must not separate.\u201d <\/p>\n Matthew 19:4-6 <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The Greek words in all cases are specific to the gender for MALE (Husband) and FEMALE (Wife). If you want to know about the specific words used I recommend using STRONGS BIBLE DICTIONARY [meaning ‘Strongs Bible Concordance’] which tells you exactly what each word used means, it’s tense, it’s gender etc. There are great digital versions of this reference.  <\/em>I have [only] quoted four verses, but there are vastly more if you decide to read the Bible without prejudice. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The condemnation of homosexual acts:<\/em>
<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Don\u2019t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God\u2019s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God\u2019s kingdom. And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. <\/p>\n 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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Claiming to be wise, they became fools and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.
Therefore God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is praised forever. Amen.
This is why God delivered them over to degrading passions. For even their females exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. The males in the same way also left natural relations with females and were inflamed in their lust for one another. Males committed shameless acts with males and received in their own persons the appropriate penalty of their error.<\/p>\n Romans 1:22-27 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

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But we know that the law is good, provided one uses it legitimately. We know that the law is not meant for a righteous person, but for the lawless and rebellious, for the ungodly and sinful, for the unholy and irreverent, for those who kill their fathers and mothers, for murderers, for the sexually immoral and homosexuals, for kidnappers, liars, perjurers, and for whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching based on the glorious gospel of the blessed God, which was entrusted to me. <\/p>\n Romans 1:8-9 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

The actual words “homosexual” and “lesbian” are not found in the Scriptures. The word “homosexual” is reported to be a German invention to euphemize and take the place of the distasteful word “sodomite” which has a direct correlation to the term “sexual immorality” as translated in many, many, many, passages found within the New Testament including the following:<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, moral impurity, promiscuity, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambitions, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and anything similar. I tell you about these things in advance\u2014as I told you before\u2014that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.<\/p>\n Galatians 5:19-21 (HCSB) <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Again.. I have quoted only a few, but if you want to read and do the research, I know you to be more than capable. I know you to be an intelligent human being. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

As I said before\u2026. YOU KNOW me [personally] and  FRIEND2 <\/b>& FRIEND2<\/b>‘s boyfriend know even more of my past [having known me for over 20 years]… <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I<\/strong> am not condemning anyone. I am as guilty and able to be judged by these standards as much as any other [person]. I am not even saying that these standards apply to everyone.<\/em>
\n If you are NOT a follower of Jesus Christ, then these rules simply don’t apply to you. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, the above definition of marriage, and sexual immorality is what you say is truth, because it is what God’s word says is truth\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

And for ANYONE to say the Bible does not cover this topic, they are choosing to be uninformed and simply wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

That is my admittedly biased opinion based on my research of Biblical context and history<\/span>.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have no idea if the response was read or met with any acceptance, but I do know that I shared my knowledge of God’s plan for all people.  I was not ashamed of the Gospel. The bonus was that another person I did not know entered the conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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PERSON3 RESPONDS: <\/b>\u00a0I suppose then that having 14 wives is “theologically accepted form” (2 Chronicles 13:21), or maybe having 18 wives and 60 concubines is the “theologically accepted form” (2 Chronicles 11:21), or maybe 700 wives and 300 concubines (1 Kings 11:2-3). Hard to pinpoint what a biblical “traditional” marriage would be – in the “theologically accepted form”.<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

It is written “A gentle word turns away wrath…” Prov 15:1   So after thinking how to respond in kind, I chose to respond in kindness instead:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I RESPONDED: <\/b>Sorry PERSON3<\/b>, I was not sure if you wanted an answer or if you were just being snarky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I will actually take it at face value, as a statement of confusion:
Therefore, the response to your statement is found in the Literary analysis of the verses and their historical and literary context.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Meaning<\/em>:\u00a0\u00a0 Different books of the Bible have different objectives. The specific books you quoted from are focused more on a telling of Biblical History, They simply report the facts of those relationships at that time in history, mostly because these are prominent and important people as Kings (David or Solomon for example) or the start of a family Lineage (Abraham for example)
The definitions of acceptable behavior are found in the Books of LAW if you are an Israelite or in various books of the New Testament if you are a follower of Jesus. I have given examples for FRIEND1<\/b> above.
As I have said before:
I am not condemning anyone. I am as guilty and able to be judged by these standards as much as any other. I am not even saying that these standards apply to everyone.
If you are NOT a follower of Jesus Christ, then these rules simply don’t apply to you.
But if you call yourself a follower of Jesus, the above definition of marriage, and sexual immorality is what you say is truth, because it is what God’s word says is truth\u2026<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

At the end of the day, I tried to respond with love and information. Because, it is not our job to change the hearts of the masses. It is our job to to be disciples that know and share the word of God with others in gentleness and kindness so that the Holy Spirit may do His work within them, just as the Spirit did for us. It is God’s power, not our power, that changes people.  And to paraphrase Pastor Phil: Changed People can be used to Change People<\/span><\/strong>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now in hindsight, I am a little sad that I did not make clear that even a sinner like me, who was guilty of divorce and sexual immorality at one time, has found redemption through Christ whose sacrifice cleanses and makes all things new. I am also sad I did not share that through acceptance of the sacrifice of Christ’s death and His all conquering resurrection that has covered all sins for those who make Jesus the Lord of their life, they too can have that same redemption. I feel the need to share that with them<\/strong>, because I truly Love my friends<\/strong>, and I want them to know that I sincerely care about their eternity. I pray they keep seeking the TRUE answers for which they are looking. And I pray that I keep being totally unashamed to share God’s word in Love and sincerity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Inspirational verse<\/strong>: For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes: first to the Jew, then to the Gentile.<\/em><\/p>\n Romans 1:16 NIV<\/em> <\/cite><\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

I pray you read this in the Spirit in which it was written. Remember, “God is good, all the time.” I am praying for you, and would love to hear from you if this has helped you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

May the Lord bless you and keep you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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May Jesus have His way with your day<\/strong><\/em><\/h6>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
  – Gary C –<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\"Creative<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n
Gary Cartagena is a dedicated husband and father.
\nHe is Founder and consultant for Tek Management<\/a>,
\nFounder of the Men\u2019s Community site: Man Skilz<\/a>,
\nCo-Founder of the online Bible study app: BibleCounts<\/a>
\n\"ViewView Gary Cartagena\u2019s profile<\/a>
\n
\nThis work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License.<\/a>
\n\u00a9 2008-2026: All content on this and other pages within the TekMan family of domains are the specific intellectual property of the owner of the site, Tek Management and\/or The Strong Foundation. Content may be reused or reproduced according to the licensing restrictions without the specific permission of the owner or a reference to the source as per the licensing restrictions found at the link above. Opinions of the authors may be generated from content obtained from other sources and such content is referenced as appropriate.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I desired to respond because I DO want to be sure that my friends have the correct information about our Lord and Savior before they make decisions and form opinions that will affect their eternity.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,36,34,16,57,17],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1578","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-choice","category-education","category-fellowship","category-philosophy","category-relationships","category-religion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1578"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2347,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1578\/revisions\/2347"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1578"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1578"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/man-skilz.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1578"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}